you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
