operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
