Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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