ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
