My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
