i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
