Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
