Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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