what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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