Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
pray to the hookup gods
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
