what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
