Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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