he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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