Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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