I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize