I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize