I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
