So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
