absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
