she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
