I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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