We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
