So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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