Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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