I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
