please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize