haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize