I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
