You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
