so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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