I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
