Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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