hotel room ftw
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
