you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize