Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
