isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
