hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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