she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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