He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
