Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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