Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
