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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
