So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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