The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
