If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
