the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize