How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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