Sry I called you an 8
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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