i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
His nipple licking is glorious
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