I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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