So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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