If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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