i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
