I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize