i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
