It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
