I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
