God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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