im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
