Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize