Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
