The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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