those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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