He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
