i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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